Have you ever been in a life-threatening situation?
I’m sure most of us have.
Life isn’t always a smooth ride.
It’ll never happen.
Like that fateful winter evening when our son’s hostel warden answered my normal phone call instead of my son!
When the warden on the other end of the line said, “Your son’s phone has been confiscated by us because he was caught red-handed when entering hostel with drug use,” it was a tremendous blow for me.
To deal with the situation, I needed to act quickly.
My son was in a college in Chennai, while I was in Patna.
What would your reaction be?
What would you do in such a situation?
You’d go to such lengths to chastise your child?
Or you might pass out, wondering why it only happens to you?
Then there comes the role of resiliency.
Before reading any further, imagine the above event happening to you or a member of your family and write down what you would do in such a situation.
I’m confident that after continuing to read, your perspective on how to handle such a circumstance will differ from what you wrote.
You can bet on it.
You can never be certain that a crisis or setback will not occur.
Life is a gamble.
As you are all aware, the world appears to be lurching from one catastrophe to the next.
We’ve seen a global pandemic like coronavirus with third-wave already in the pipeline, significant changes in how we live our lives, economic uncertainty, political and social unrest, and a slew of natural calamities.
People are also struggling with personal tragedies such as the death of a loved one, deteriorating health, unemployment, divorce, violent crime, or terrible accidents.
This is a period of extraordinary strife and change for many of us.
Can you deny the foregoing or keep yourself out of such a situation?
There’s no way.
It’s better to prepare yourself and your family to confront any problems that life may throw your way.
Simple solution: Be a resilient individual.
Our ability to adapt and bounce back when things don’t go as planned is referred to as
resilience (or resiliency).
People that are resilient don’t wallow in setbacks; instead, they acknowledge the
problem, learn from their mistakes, and move on.
People who are resilient do not live without stress, emotional turmoil, or suffering.
Adversity, change, loss, and danger are all things that people are influenced by and adapt to, according to resilience theory.
To further comprehend the points, you need to be familiar with the 7 Cs model of resilience developed by paediatrician Ken Ginsburg, MD, of the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, who specialises in adolescent health.
These 7 Cs of Resilience, regardless of age, show how personal strengths and external resources interact.
- Competence: This is the ability to efficiently deal with a variety of situations. Individuals develop a set of abilities that help them trust their judgments and make responsible decisions in order to develop competence.
- Confidence: True self-confidence, according to Dr Ginsburg, is based on competence. Individuals build confidence by displaying their ability in real-world settings.
- Connection: A sense of security and belonging is provided through close links to family, friends, and the community.
- Character: To make responsible decisions, contribute to society, and feel self-worth, people need a basic sense of right and wrong.
- Contribution: A sense of purpose, according to Ginsburg, is a potent motivator. Giving back to the community strengthens strong reciprocal ties.
- Coping: People who learn to properly manage stress are better prepared to deal with hardship and disappointments.
- Control: Individuals who have a knowledge of internal control become problem-solvers rather than victims of circumstance.
Individuals are more likely to regard themselves as capable and confident when they understand that they can control the outcomes of their decisions.
You’ve probably heard about Edison’s invention of the light bulb.
But you probably don’t realise how resilient He was in the face of numerous setbacks.
According to mythology, Thomas Edison created thousands of prototypes before perfecting the incandescent light bulb.
And, with over 1,000 patents under his belt, it’s easy to see him failing on a regular basis in his endeavours.
Despite the fact that he struggled with “failure” throughout his career, Edison never allowed it to get the best of him.
All of these “failures,” which are said to number in the tens of thousands, simply demonstrated how not to invent.
His perseverance enabled the world to witness some of the most incredible inventions of the early twentieth century, including the phonograph, the telegraph, and the motion picture.
For good reason, we hear a lot about building and strengthening resilience in ourselves and our children.
Joshua Miles, a therapist and counsellor, explains a few of the many reasons why resilience is a valuable attribute to possess:
For good reason, we hear a lot about building and strengthening resilience in ourselves and our children.
Joshua Miles, a therapist and counsellor, explains a few of the many reasons why resilience is a valuable attribute to possess:
- Higher levels of resilience are linked to better learning and academic achievement, as well as fewer sick days at work or school.
- Those with stronger resilience are more involved in the community and/or family activities, which helps to prevent risk-taking behaviours such as excessive drinking, smoking, and drug use.
- A higher level of resilience is linked to a reduced mortality rate and better physical health .
Christina G. Hibbert, Psy. D., a clinical psychologist, describes resilience as the ability to bounce back after being torn apart by life.
Those who have learned to overcome hurdles and challenges in a healthy manner are more resilient.
Resilient people learn and understand how to deal with the ups and downs of life.
They’ve also learnt how to get back on solid feet after a traumatic occurrence.
The good news is that you can learn to create a resilient mindset and attitude even if you aren’t inherently resilient.
Incorporate the following into your regular routine to achieve this:
- Learn to unwind.
You’ll be better able to deal with obstacles in your life if you take care of your mind and body.
Develop a regular sleep schedule, try a new workout, or employ physical relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or meditation.
- Work on becoming conscious of your thoughts.
Negative thoughts do not disrupt resilient people’s efforts.
Instead, they think positively all of the time.
When anything goes wrong, pay attention to how you talk to yourself – if you find yourself making assertions that are permanent, ubiquitous, or personalised, modify your thinking.
- Make changes to your outlook.
To change the way you think about unfavourable situations and experiences, practise cognitive restructuring.
- Learn from your setbacks and mistakes.
Every blunder has the potential to teach you something valuable, therefore look for it in every circumstance.
Also, make sure you understand the concept of “post-traumatic growth” — many people discover that crisis events, such as a job loss or the end of a relationship, provide them with opportunities to improve.
- Decide on an answer.
Remember that we all have bad days and go through our fair share of problems.
However, we have a choice in how we respond: we can react with panic and negativity, or we can remain cool and rational and take control of the situation and find a solution.It’s always up to you how you react.
- Maintain a sense of perspective.
Resilient people recognise that, while a situation or crisis may appear overwhelming at the time, it may not have a significant long-term impact.
Try not to exaggerate the significance of occurrences.
- Set some objectives for yourself.
Learn to develop SMART, successful personal goals that align with your beliefs and can assist you in learning if you haven’t previously.
- Increase your self-assurance.
Resilient people, on the other hand, are convinced that they will achieve in the end, despite whatever setbacks or stresses they may be experiencing.
This self-confidence also allows individuals to take risks: when you gain confidence and a strong sense of self, you have the strength to keep pushing forward and take the risks you need to move ahead.
- Build strong bonds with others.
People who have good work relationships are less stressed and more satisfied in their jobs.
This holds true in your personal life as well: the more genuine friendships you form, the more resilient you’ll be because you’ll have a strong support system to fall back on.
So seek assistance when you require it!
- Be adaptable.
Resilient people recognise that things change and that well-laid plans may need to be tweaked or cancelled from time to time.
Returning to my son’s account of his phone being confiscated by his hostel ward after he was discovered red-handed in drug usage, imagine yourself in my circumstances and attempt to figure out how you would deal with such situation after reading the above, that is, after learning the techniques to develop resilience.
Have you made any modifications to what you wrote when you first started this blog?
No?
Try reading the above to put the skill of developing resilience into practice.
I am confident that you will be more resilient in dealing with crisis situations.
Conclusion:
Change and turmoil affect everyone in different ways.
Don’t berate yourself for making mistakes or criticise your coping skills.
Self-compassion is a crucial component of resilience development, so be kind to yourself.
The moment you begin to believe in your ability to recover, things will begin to go your way.
Everything hinges on your faith.
You can improve your resiliency.
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